Dont Mince Words


Bounce a quarter off these abs

Posted on December 21, 2007 by Marna

My little game of Cat and Doctor continued today as I returned to my plastic surgeon’s office with a Christmas card (“thanks for the great ass”) and my German apple bread (“because only a girl with good farm stock hips could bake like this”).

He came around the corner from another room and announced my presence.

“Marna’s here and today she’s in red and looks great,” he exclaimed.

“I clean up pretty well for someone who has been sponge bathing for two weeks,” I told everyone.

“Wow, look at those heels,” he said.

I reminded him I was a sugardaddy-less working girl and had to return to the corporate monkeyspank today so that I could collect vendor gifts, a bonus, and participate in general holiday fuckoffery (someone put a bottle of Grand Marnier on my desk for symbolic reasons).

I stripped down nekkid and was told again I’m still healing fabulously. My belly button was revealed and it’s cute, in a newborn crusty kind of way. My one remaining pussy pump was also removed which will increase my mobility as well as get the whole puss back on a healing path. The better news is…. I can shower. But not before I make a pit stop at Babeland on the way home to see about a new vibrator.

It’s the simple things like showers and masturbation that keep me going. But the Victoria Secret gift certificate for new panties is running a close third. HO, ho, ho.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

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