Don't Mince Words


Wine is my shepherd; I shall want.

Posted on June 02, 2015 by Marna

sushiIt takes years and years to master the art of trusting your instincts. You don’t take candy from strangers and you certainly don’t take drinks from guys that look like they can get bulk discounts on GHB.

On Friday, I had a job interview that was scarier than a white windowless van with no license plates. I had heard tales. I’d read the GlassDoor reviews. But I needed a reason to get out of my yoga pants and put mascara on.

When I walked into the lobby, I immediately had AIG survivor flashbacks without the Wall Street tinge. Leather sofa and chairs with brass rivots and buttons. Traditional Queen Anne tables. I could smell the middle-aged white guys. They were here.

After I checked in, I sat in the old leather to discover the only reading material in this oh-so-corporate lobby was Jesus lit. There were no trade publications, Wall Street Journal, local newspapers, or even a People freaking magazine. The Jesus lit was on the coffee table, fanned out. It was on the side tables. It was on every horizontal surface I could see. This was the June issue with daily lessons “to help you connect with God every day.”

I don’t have any issue with faith-based organizations or corporations that choose God as one of their core values. Own it like Chick fil-A and Hobby Lobby and let the consumer decide. While I am a lapsed Lutheran, I’ve been a big city girl for too long and crave diversity in the workplace.

My interview hadn’t started and I already had “material” with more on the way. I asked my would-be boss, who has been there 17 years, a standard marketing question.

“I know your competition varies from region-to-region but what would you say is your unique selling proposition in this crowded marketplace?”

Without hesitating, she answered “We are the largest, private, family-owned XX in the nation.”

That’s no reason to believe or buy for the marketing bible told me so.

Rather than take a Silkwood shower after my 2.5 hour experience, I took communion in the form of moonshine. It seemed like the proper thing to do. Then I called friends and asked “have you ever….”  I received a chorus of OMGs and NEVER with a resounding “you can’t work there.”

When you trust your instincts, it’s easy to walk away.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 369 Posts, 128 Comments

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