She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words


This bud’s not for you

Posted on February 19, 2006 by Marna

I realize I unintentionally date on the special ed side of the dating spectrum. As one friend recently told me, “There has to be a disproportionate amount of normal guys somewhere because you’ve cornered the market on nuts.” Will it ever end?

He called at 5:15 p.m. on Valentine’s Day to find out when I was going home. “I ordered flowers for you with guaranteed delivery. I don’t want you to miss them.”

They didn’t come. They didn’t come the next day. They didn’t come the day after that, but that was the day I decided to release him from boyfriend duty permanently for other, nonflower-related reasons. His parting words were, “I still want to look into those flowers.”

The following day, while I was cleaning my desk, I found my floral card and envelope from the prior delivery. He said he ordered from the same place for Valentine’s Day. I called the florist who verified an order was never placed.

Honesty is a virtue in a town built on fantasies and lies. Until I find that guy, I’m going to keep my eyes wide open, pay attention to the red flags, and continue to date, I think.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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