The cards are pouring in. Neither Jesus nor Santa appears to be popular this holiday season. The statistics so far:

Reference to Christmas: zero

Reference to “Holidays”: 100%

Use of holiday iconography such as snowmen or poinsettias: 22%

Use of cats and dogs: 56%

Use of offspring spawned from human loins: 22%

Inclusion of generic “dear everyone we’re fabulous” newsletter: 33%