She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Hey, that’s my treadmill, bitch

Posted on February 15, 2007 by Marna

When real guy started behaving like typical guy, I knew it was time to evaluate what I wanted against what we could accomplish together. When he said, “I’m not really a relationship guy,” I knew it was time to utter my favorite four-lettered word.


I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until one of our programmers stated he couldn’t work in the evening because of love commitments. He asked me what I was going to do and I said, without hesitating, “I’m going to the gym to hang out with the fat, single people.”

The road to good intentions was almost paved with bruises when I got into a fight with some bimbolina over the last treadmill. It wasn’t the last treadmill, but the only one available overlooking the rock climbing wall which is the best eye candy location in the gym. I got it and she went to the other side of the floor.

For 60 minutes, I watched yummy men chalk their hands and scale the walls. This was much better than staring at couples waiting for their reservations at a restaurant.

I think I’ll come here next year. My long-term relationship with the gym seems to be working for me.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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