She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Hey, that’s my treadmill, bitch Comments Off on Hey, that’s my treadmill, bitch

Posted on February 15, 2007 by Marna

When real guy started behaving like typical guy, I knew it was time to evaluate what I wanted against what we could accomplish together. When he said, “I’m not really a relationship guy,” I knew it was time to utter my favorite four-lettered word.


I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until one of our programmers stated he couldn’t work in the evening because of love commitments. He asked me what I was going to do and I said, without hesitating, “I’m going to the gym to hang out with the fat, single people.”

The road to good intentions was almost paved with bruises when I got into a fight with some bimbolina over the last treadmill. It wasn’t the last treadmill, but the only one available overlooking the rock climbing wall which is the best eye candy location in the gym. I got it and she went to the other side of the floor.

For 60 minutes, I watched yummy men chalk their hands and scale the walls. This was much better than staring at couples waiting for their reservations at a restaurant.

I think I’ll come here next year. My long-term relationship with the gym seems to be working for me.

Saturday night fitness Comments Off on Saturday night fitness

Posted on July 24, 2005 by Marna

I was jacked up on caffeine this evening and decided to try something new. I went to the gym at 9 p.m. I had a date with sweat.

With my Ipod on random, I listened to my gym playlist while reading the close-captioning of “Notting Hill” on screen. Despite the multiple stimuli, I was also able to survey the gym single scene. I’ve gotta tell you, it was not date night at 24 Hour Fitness. The odds were 50/50 on the cardio machines and in the free weight, beefcake area. These were not ugly people. Short, yes, but that’s the story of my life.

When Bjork finished singing “I miss you but I haven’t met you yet,” I had gone 2.8 miles and burned 400 calories. I walked out alone with sweat dripping but happy knowing I wasn’t the only person without plans on a Saturday night.

I might go back early tomorrow for “church” on the treadmill.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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