She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words


Archive for the ‘Love’


From cotton candy to porn 1

Posted on May 26, 2008 by Marna

I received a reminder that ex’s are ex’s for a reason. Circus boy called. He’s a guy I dated in New York before I moved to California. His most notable relationship error was leaving me at his family event to go help an ex-girlfriend who was “stranded” on the side of the road. We broke up and he left and joined the circus.

Seriously, the circus. Now you can say you know someone who was dumped for Ringling Brothers. Anyhow, five years later, I still receive random emails and calls from him which I don’t mind because I know he’s always good for material.

Today was no exception.

After the catch-up small talk, he told me he was engaged. This is not the first time in my life an ex- has called to basically say “look someone else likes me and maybe for a long time.” Congratulations. And you are calling me because…????

Because his wife-to-be, who sells cotton candy and concessions for the circus, is getting ready to launch a porn site and they wanted to enlist my marketing expertise. Yeah, I know, WTF?

“You know, I’m focusing on a job search right now and don’t have a lot of time for freelance. My best piece of advice would be to make sure the HTML copy is relevant so that you can pull rankings in organic search,” I said.

But the good times don’t end there. He announced they might be quitting the circus when it gets to Arizona so that they can go and live in Las Vegas. “I think that’s a smart choice for you two,” I said.

Let’s hope what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Is mercury in retrograde? 0

Posted on May 23, 2008 by Marna

I just had an ex- call me and tell me he loved me and he wanted to “correct this shit.” Stay tuned. He’s 3,000 miles away and we broke up 12 years ago.

. . .I can’t make this stuff up.

Understanding your economic stimulus payment 0

Posted on May 06, 2008 by Marna

My tax credit posted today. What a fucking crock of shit. It won’t even buy me two tanks of gas. I would of done better if I had “qualifying children” but apparently my $10 bag/week of Hill’s Science Diet dog food isn’t stimulating or qualifying enough. If only I had the time to purchase a kid from Namibia instead of rescuing a very old dog.

My $240 vibrator, which was probably made in China, stimulates my bush a hell of a lot better.

Don’t forget to vote in November.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 378 Posts, 126 Comments

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