Dont Mince Words

OK, where has the time gone? It has really been a month since I’ve lost my job? Really. If I were to describe this week I’d have to say “socially bananas.”

It was Labor Day week, so there were a few cookouts. In between all that, the boyfriend decided to infuse some music in my life. I can honestly say in one week’s time, I have seen Cheap Trick, Poison, Def Leppard, AC/DC, Fishbone, The Donnas, The Pricks, Shiny Toy Guns, Korn, and Nico Vega. It is the distraction from reality I need to get through the week.

Of course the week ended on 9/11. I went with a fellow Outtie to Pepperdine to see the flags they put out for all the victims. It was a spectacular site up against the Pacific Ocean. It almost felt like the rows and rows of white tombstones you see at Arlington National Cemetery. Afterwards, my friend and I recounted our downtown/Brooklyn memories and the months of aftermath. I got a sweet email request from a girlfriend who now teaches high school. She read my 9/11 account to her class as an example of personal essay. Very flattering and hopefully it puts a first person perspective on an event high school kids barely understand. We finished the day with drinks at Dukes because it seemed like the right thing to do. Early in the evening I had a PTSD-induced scare when the Space Shuttle re-entered the atmosphere and created a sonic boom. Tex barked and I was sure a plane had hit somewhere nearby.

On the professional side, I had a nice interview with a pr agency downtown. On the drive home, I got slightly depressed when I realized I’ve had one interview in a month. One. I was averaging better than that first quarter. What can I do? Nothing but cash my first unemployment check which finally arrived.

I have to get a job soon, if only to rest. My availability is creating severe social distractions while my tan fades.

My week started out of town. The boyfriend took Tex and I to Vegas and then up to UT to check on a condo he’s trying to sell. My excitement was centered around Tex’ first real road trip. Vegas baby. We stayed in a four-star, dog-friendly hotel where the dood was treated like a king.

When I got back, I had accomplished my short-term goal of getting my LinkedIn contacts to surpass my Facebook friends. Not only that, I reconnected with a recruiter and scheduled and interview. So, hooray for the power of social networking.

I saw two friends this week who told me that unemployment was agreeing with me – I appeared very relaxed and refreshed. Makes me wonder what I’ll “look” like when I go back to work. I continued to discover more hardship hours with my Outties and was reminded by a writer friend that I’m making more money on unemployment than she is with three published books – so I should continue the quest for another day job.

My first unemployment claim form FINALLY arrived, a week late. Let’s see if the check is in the mail soon. I’m considering reviving the concept of pink slip parties like we used to have in NY after the dotbomb. With all the cheap happy hours I’m finding, it seems like sensible idea to connect Outties with booze and networking. Of course, all of this is selfish. It just gets me out of the house so Tex can nap in peace.

I don’t envy phone customer service reps in any business. It is a thankless job. But it has to be especially painful if you are working the phones for the Employment Development Department for the State of California.

My claim form hasn’t arrived, so another Outtie friend supplied me with a way to bypass the system and get a rep on the phone faster. I waited seven minutes for a human to answer the phone and this is what transpired:

EDD Woman: …(seven seconds of garble followed by) “How may I help you.”

Marna: “I guess you need my social security number to start with?”

EDD Woman: “No, I have that, it is tied to your phone number.”

Marna: “Oh, good. Well, I have received my Insurance Award notification letter, my Claim Filed letter, and the Notice of Requirement to Register for Work. But I’m in week three and I still haven’t received my first claim form.”

EDD Woman: “What is your Social Security Number?”

Marna: “I thought you said you had that.”

EDD Woman: “Please verify for me.”

Marna: I repeated the number for her.

EDD Woman: I hear clicking on a keyboard followed by, “Are you serious. For real? He can’t be?” There was laughter and it sounded like my phone rep was chatting with the woman on the other side of her cubicle wall.

Marna: After three minutes of listening to this woman talk to her friend, I broke in with “So, are you looking for my claim form status?”

EDD Woman: “What’s your address?”

Marna: “XXXX North Spaulding Avenue” blah blah blah.

EDD Woman: “Like the basketball?”

Marna: It was becoming apparent she didn’t have my record pulled up. “S-p-a-u-l-d-i-n-g”

EDD Woman: After holding with an open mic for another three minutes she said, “OK, we’re going to mail another claim for out to you tomorrow. Fill it out as best as you can.”

Marna: “Thank you.”

I’m sure I can fill that form out better than she can manage her phone manners. Seriously. For reals.