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You filled the void that was left by Tex – my first big dog adoption during the California housing crisis. Your rescue led to a Facebook contest to rename you (WTF Carla?) and Aunt Holli won with “Dixie” – naming you after a region like Tex with a play on the letter X. You helped…
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There’s a strong possibility my shoulder will get dislocated soon. Dixie has discovered squirrels and I’m not sure a pinch collar will hold her back from the fierce chase she wants to have. Dixie is a girlie girl dog. She was discovered on the mean streets of Long Beach, California during the housing crisis with…
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The welcome to Virginia sign was a relief after traversing Tennessee. While Virginia may be open for business, I hope Virginia also has jobs and single, emotionally evolved men over the age of consent. Dixie and I travelled 2900 miles and everyone was right – as long as she was with me, she was fine. …
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Dixie was getting her last walk of the night when I noticed a white car rolling by really slow. When it parked illegally, I paid more attention while Dixie watered a bush. A girl I didn’t recognized jumped out of the car and said, “Marna, is that Dixie?” This woman was introduced to me online…
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I’ve had dead dog ashes for a while. When I look at memorials online, they are too stodgy and don’t fit the personality of Kramer or Tex. My idea has always been a small picture frame with a little test tube of ashes glued on. Much better than a small pine box with dates on…
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I promise I won’t turn into a mommy blogger or a new mom who thinks she’s got the best baby on earth. But until I date again, all I can do is sing the praises of my new rescue dog. Dixie showed up as a stray at a SoCal shelter with pink toenail polish on. …
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The other day I was searching on OKCupid. There were six men between the ages of 37 and 60 that were my height or taller, held master’s degrees, and lived within 50 miles of me. I’m serious. Six men. I decided I had better luck at finding love on Petfinder and adopted a three-year…
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When I was very, very young, my parents has a fabulous farting Dalmatian named Zip. From what I remember, she was your typical stupid, fence jumping Dalmatian. But she was also known as my nanny. Urban tale has it that she slept under my crib and woke my parents up one night when my puke…
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I’m pretty sure I’m never getting laid again, and I’m ok with it. Here’s why. My dog is in love with me. It was a long courtship of walks, parks, car rides, and movies on the couch. He waited to sleep with me for six months. Then one day when I came home on crutches…
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I realize for most parents, one of their early happiest days are when their kid can wipe their own ass and make a meal. For me, it’s the two- to three-year old age bracket when they’ll repeat a cuss word unexpectedly. I laugh, the parents cringe. Today I was in Petco with Tex, my only…
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Tex and I were strolling back from our walk to the coffee shop on Melrose. We were in the home stretch, the last block, where Tex always lags behind. He’s not slow because he’s sniffing everything. He’s just old and tired. His hips try to keep up with his mind, but often fail him. Half-way…
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This old dog
▶︎It’s official. Tex is my longest running relationship since arriving in LA. He’s emotionally available, he’s big, he doesn’t flake on me, and me makes me smile every day. We’ve been together a little more than a year and April Fool’s Day is his designated 11th birthday since it’s easy to remember and it reminds…
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I spent the first four years in Los Angeles dating voraciously, trying to make up for my career-first East coast days. I’m now a dog owner, which has kind of changed my outlook on dating. You are going to have to be better than my dog and my vibrator to get me out of the…
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When you have a good dog, and a good vibrator, is there any need to date in LA? Today I came to my senses and decided, ah, no thank you. On Thursday night I was coaxed out of my canine enclave to see a 70’s-style punk band. When they opened with “I’m not your stepping…
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It’s a boy
▶︎For all you breeders who have received gifts from me during the past 20 odd years, I’ve got one thing to say. Ante up bitches, I’m a mother. Tex, my farting geezer foster American bulldog, has adopted me. Our six-week courtship was a blast and the experience made me realize I could handle going to…
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I’ve ramped up my Internet dating again. After last week’s happy hour fiasco, I’ve gone back to the horrid 20-minute coffee date. Tonight I added a twist. I brought a dog, or as I will now call him, my “get out of jail free card.” Tex is an 80-pound American Bulldog I’m fostering and he…