Dont Mince Words

I realize for most parents, one of their early happiest days are when their kid can wipe their own ass and make a meal.  For me, it’s the two- to three-year old age bracket when they’ll repeat a cuss word unexpectedly.  I laugh, the parents cringe.

Today I was in Petco with Tex, my only begotten son.  We were on a quest for pumpkin-head sized reindeer antlers.  I know, it’s gay and he’s going to kill me in my sleep, but I live in West Hollywood where the average dog weight is six pounds.  This 85-pound American Bulldog can’t compete with the sweater-wearing purse puppies except with seasonal accessories.  So we were in the aisle with the pet pee squirt bottles, rug piss shampoo, smell be-gone, etc.. My dog lifted his leg and pissed on the bottom rack of urine sprays.  Ironic, I know, and glorious at the same time.  I began laughing, then I quickly looked to see if anyone saw.  I thought about cleanup, for two seconds, and then figured someone else would enjoy the pee puddle irony and laugh too.

My dog doesn’t bark or cuss, but it is little things like this that make him more fun than a toddler.