She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words



Nice tits/only in LA 0

Posted on June 19, 2004 by Marna

I never had a dowry, but my German background has blessed/cursed me with being well-endowed. Men would say…my personal pot of gold. Me and the girls have been hanging out for nearly 30 years now. I’m used to them.

When my friend recently got a breast reduction, I was naturally curious to see if the procedure had changed since my mom underwent the knife 20 years ago. I helped her change her goo bags and when the swelling went down, I have to say, her tits looked spectacular. But I wasn’t going to look at them. I could see the difference in her sweater and I was a little envious of the lighter load.

Tonight we went out with another friend and all New Boob Friend could do was talk about her tits. Enough already. We see. They look great and perky, now shut the fuck up. However, New Boob Friend stopped short on the sidewalk on Beverly and opened her top and said, “Ya wanna look?”

My equally well-endowed other friend peaked in and said, “wow, nice.”

I, on the other hand, had enough of the tit talk. “We are on the fucking sidewalk. Does this need to be a public viewing right now?” I asked. I was up to my collarbones in tit talk.

We walked to the end of the block and went to a gallery opening where New Boob Friend spent more time talking about feeling where the stitches were, nipple sensitivity, and other boobspeak. I can only imagine how girls who get BIGGER boobs yammer on. Nobody on the east coast would require so much “look at these babies” attention.

Fucking LA.

I went home, released the girls from their four-hook captivity and told them they were staying right where they were. If I’ve lived with them for 30 years, I can keep them around as-is a little longer.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 378 Posts, 132 Comments

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