A hipster one pinch collar away from death 1
State Street Hipster
When you put your children in the hands of others so you can go to work, you have to trust caretakers will do the right thing. The same is true when you pay a dog walker to give your 70-pound dog a mid-day stroll. Today I realized I never taught Dixie the “kill the hipster now” command.
My dog walker is a well-intentioned, 50-something female Santa Barbara native. Think hippie crunchy. Today, when she was walking Dixie, she ran across this hipster who offered to write a poem. She thought he was “enterprising and worthy of support.” Of course, I know no idea is new and this is Brooklyn circa 2004. Not original. Here’s “Lewis Lewis’” creative output (correction tape only used once!).
dixie
a lazy hourglass
watched a sleepy puppy
a sleep puppy
brown and black royal spots
grew like a shy smile
smiling puppy grew
into dixie dog
adultish wise watchful
sensing danger & safety
above and below
human register
loyal and jovial
looking forward tot he sun
and a ball to be chased
dixie’s heavy cheeks
& salivating chops
formed smiles creating smiles
Anyone that knows me knows I was raised by Archie Bunker and graduated college during a recession. I couldn’t find a job. You know what I did? I waited tables. Did I, as a writer and English major, sit on a sidewalk and show off my real manual typewriter skills? No, that’s begging for attention. I wanted a paycheck and my dad would of killed me.
If you can find me a hipster chew toy, I have some new training for my dog. In the meantime, I counter Lewis Lewis’ creativity.
lewis
a lazy hipster
watched tourists pass
Pennsatucky daddy check
money come too late
Local, hardworking bitch
Smacked Lewis upside the head with a longboard
Wheels shoved up a lazy ass
Body thrown on State Street
Tourist bus finished job
End of Story.