Dont Mince Words

Nachos and the game Comments Off on Nachos and the game

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Marna

Nothing makes me happier than nachos and beer except being in a large city in a different country and STILL being thankful I’m not having sex.

On the way back from a bookstore (because that’s where single, middle-aged ladies go after work on business trips), I stopped by a brew pub to abuse my per diem.  I ordered an IPA, because I like to support local beer, as well as nachos because they are my favorite food group with beer.

I had the good fortune to sit beside a four-top of 20-something know-it-alls.  I realized rather than sit at the table and start my book, I needed to pull out my moleskin and take notes.  Judging by the almost-finished pitcher of beer on their table, their shit was going to be good.

The cast of characters included a self-proclaimed promiscuous, white, long-haired brunette sitting beside a bed head, celery stalk body and white golf-shirt wearing hipster.  On the other side, we had a lightly bearded Indian guy with long bangs sitting beside the table kingpin.  This guy was a true piece of work.  He had sunglasses on his head and wore a chartreuse button-down, white tie, khaki knee-length shorts, and white loafers.

I could have assumed he was a tool when his tie matched his loafers; however, when he talked loud enough to be heard by everyone and mentioned in every other sentence that he was Italian, I almost felt sorry for him.  I mean, no woman really cares about your ethnicity unless you say your daddy was black, then we may pay attention.

I knew we were at a DickCon1 level when he said, “I know if I pretend to care, she’ll think I’m sensitive and will fuck me.”  Yeah, that rule has been revealed in Details, Esquire, and on blogs for more than a decade.  Google that shit.  Or, better, put your fucking phone down, stop texting, and read a book.

There is a new super strain of gonorrhea out there and yet I fear cockroaches like this, at any age, more.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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