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I hate texting, but once in a while it’s fun to see a “conversation” unfold. This is between me and AMFINS (a male friend I never screwed). Two single adults, home on a Saturday night, drinking, watching TV, and texting. AMFINS: I’m drunk. You aren’t. Me awesome. ME: I’m catching up. AMFINS: Fucking drunk. Meeeeee.…
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Nothing makes me happier than nachos and beer except being in a large city in a different country and STILL being thankful I’m not having sex. On the way back from a bookstore (because that’s where single, middle-aged ladies go after work on business trips), I stopped by a brew pub to abuse my per…
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If anyone has learned anything in the year+ I’ve lived in Santa Barbara, it’s that I’ve barely dated or done anything blog-worthy. So, in December when I was feeling generous, I loosened up my age requirements and let the 65 year-olds take a stab at the Marn. As my Aunt says, “hello Daddy,” she also…
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My first 90 days in Santa Barbara are complete and I can say, I’ve survived. If my blog is going to continue with nonfiction observations and intermittent dating stories, I may not have much material to work with. Or I need to step up my game. Like most relationships, I go in with no expectations…
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The Muppets have been around since I was young. But, like Mr. Hooper, old school, thinning felt Muppets die or lose camera time to their updated furry friends. Elmo received life in 1985 when a black man put his hand in Elmo’s ass and gave him that distinctive voice and laugh. With red hair and…