Dont Mince Words

Brian found me online. You know I’ve all but given up, but when digital me reels in a live one, I still have to respond.

After the usual rapid fire round of screening questions, we determined we were both looking for a relationship – nothing casual. We graduated to texting, then live phone on Monday night. He was on a business trip and wanted to coordinate lunch near my office on Friday.

Every morning and evening Brian texted something sweet and continued to emphasize how he couldn’t wait to meet me. He had been in Richmond two months and had not found anyone cool. Wednesday night he texted me unusually late and I let him know I was just wrapping up some west coast work.

B – “I’m a man whore”

Me – “Who’d you fuck?” I responded just screwing with him.

B – “The 19 year old waitress working at the restaurant. She just left.”

Did I mention Brian was my age?  So, 1) yuck and 2) yucky. I texted him back my standard line that I judge men by their actions not words and it appeared he wanted casual, so I’d have to cancel lunch on Friday.

I pulled the hook out and threw him back in.

Next.

I joked with a coworker recently that my personal tagline should be “Internet dating since 1996.” In addition, in the last five years, two of my jobs have been leads I found on the internet.

Not anymore.

The internet used to be a good place for jobs and dates. Now it has gone to the masses. This niche channel is no longer for tech saavy geeks. It’s gone ghetto, like Heineken. And I haven’t felt like drinking lately. But don’t worry, I’m not going to church to find a good man nor will I attend a golden handshakes meeting to get job leads.

This is just my personal observation. I’ll alter my plan accordingly and always remember when Joe Six-Pack and corporate America get their hands on something, it will eventually go to shit.

Drink up.