Dont Mince Words

The last vacation I took with Anne was to Mexico. Our usual fixed vacation agenda item is to try to eat nachos every day. For the Mexico trip, I went to Target and bought an economy box of condoms. We calculated that we’d have to have sex 1.7 times per day to finish the box.

Those poor condoms expired before they ever were used, but the thought was there.

Three years later, we go on vacation again, except this time, we decided to drink my stash of wine. This was an achievable goal-1.5 bottles per day. A sure thing.

In between reds, we went to the Grand Canyon and did everything there is to do in Sedona. I bought gems. I bought Tarot cards. I had my palm read and my cards read. On our last day, a medium channeled my dead dad and told me, “You were married to your father in a past life. You lived in England during the Colonial days. He wore a 3-point hat and you came over and settled in Newport, Rhode Island.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. For the price of that information, I could buy three economy boxes of condoms.

It’s Valentines Day and I’m living in Brooklyn with my girlfriend of two and one-half years. What should I do today? Pay attention to my girlfriend? Take her to brunch? Give her flowers? Make love to her?

Nah, I think I’ll call Marna. She knew me when I was commitment phobic…when I couldn’t introduce her as my girlfriend during three months of non-date dates…. I’m going to call her on Valentine’s Day.

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What a way to start Valentine’s Day, right? You know what kept me sane yesterday? My two good friends from the east coast and more recently from Phoenix drove in to visit me for the weekend. They came armed with flowers, chocolates, and a new vibrator.

We listened to my ex’s voice mail and laughed and headed straight to the Venice boardwalk where we enjoyed a liquid lunch followed by palm readings and Tarot cards. Our hippie prophets told us we are all going to find love this year. We’ve been hurt in the past, but our period of change is almost complete.

I hate the commercialization of 2/14 and the pressure and expectation second-guessing that goes on. Enjoy your friends. Enjoy your lover(s). Make the most of everyday no matter who you are with. Most of all, love like you have never been hurt before.

Look forward, not backwards. Then eat chocolate.