I had a date Saturday at 3:30 p.m. at Olive Garden. He called ahead and asked if there was a corkage fee. I took his bottle home with me instead. You can write the end of this story.
I make bad decisions when people pressure me for new dating material.
The last vacation I took with Anne was to Mexico. Our usual fixed vacation agenda item is to try to eat nachos every day. For the Mexico trip, I went to Target and bought an economy box of condoms. We calculated that we’d have to have sex 1.7 times per day to finish the box.
Those poor condoms expired before they ever were used, but the thought was there.
Three years later, we go on vacation again, except this time, we decided to drink my stash of wine. This was an achievable goal-1.5 bottles per day. A sure thing.
In between reds, we went to the Grand Canyon and did everything there is to do in Sedona. I bought gems. I bought Tarot cards. I had my palm read and my cards read. On our last day, a medium channeled my dead dad and told me, “You were married to your father in a past life. You lived in England during the Colonial days. He wore a 3-point hat and you came over and settled in Newport, Rhode Island.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. For the price of that information, I could buy three economy boxes of condoms.
Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.