Dont Mince Words

When you are in your 30’s and dating, the subject of marriage is tough to tackle in the initial courtship period. There are so many reasons why (or why not) someone has married. I generally don’t ask and assume every man I date is either divorced or about to change teams. The big reveal is always interesting.

I was recently on a date with Lighting Guy. We were on our way to a thai restaurant when we passed a bachlorette party on the sidewalk. The bride-to-be was about 23 years-old with hotpants, a tight tshirt and a veil.

When I saw her I said something to the effect of “oh honey don’t do it. Live a little first.” Lighting guy agreed that she was too young to get married.

“I was 22 when I got married. That is TOO young, but I married a stripper,” he said.

“Oh really, I got married a month before my 27th birthday, but I married a bipolar,” I responded hoping a bipolar trumped a stripper.

“I’m bipolar,” he said.

“Mine didn’t medicate,” I explained.

“Oh, no. I take the drugs and I see my therapist every six weeks,” he said.

Glad I got that out the way. Time for me to give up and get a cat.

This guy, let’s call him my boyfriend, asked a very difficult question recently. “So, when are you going to write about me?” I gave my standard response, “I only write about bizarre LA dates and people that screw up. I actually like you.”

I’m not sure if his ego kicked in, or if he wanted to provide input on my blog genre. “But don’t you want to let women out there know there IS hope?” he asked.

Oh, I know there’s hope out there. For me, it usually comes from Toys in Babeland. This guy has managed to survive two cycles with me. If he can make it four seasons, then that’s something to write about.

I’m hopeful.

I’m starting to become the conduit for bad date stories. I have enough of my own to go around, but it is disheartening to wonder if anyone in their 30s is successful in dating.

April has been a parade of fools. My one girlfriend had to hit the eject button after her boyfriend stated he couldn’t afford to call her while he was on location. Apparently this six-figure man didn’t feel she ranked cell toll charges. Another friend had to pass when she found out the guy she was dating lived with his healthy mother. A friend in New York is writing a piece for a news magazine on portfolio dating and how the trend is to date multiple people to feel like you have one whole relationship. One is hard enough, but more than one? Please, I couldn’t take it.

While my eyes are wide open, I have no tolerance for crap. This feeling was accentuated this past weekend when I finally saw Todd Solondz’ Happiness. The opening sequence with Jon Lovitz is classic, but the line I took away was “I’m champagne and you are shit.” It prompted me to call the guy I had gone out with a few times and let him know is cancellations without notice were annoying and I was interested in seeing someone more available. As a wise Greek woman told me, “Date me right or I’ll fuck you up.”

N-E-X-T.