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I’m an optimist, right? I have to be given I’ve been internet dating for 20 years. But if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Right? Ralph was a good match according to OKCupid. And he was my type of guy – cut to the chase and don’t waste time. We exchanged…
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When the Tinder app launched, I was living in Santa Barbara where the dating population was either college-age or retirement age. I didn’t see the point. Imagine my surprise when a girlfriend visiting from Florida admitted she met her long-term boyfriend there. “You have to get on it,” she said. I still subscribe to the…
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The question of children has come up a couple times in the last week. I’ve been internet dating for almost 20 years. Finding a partner is hard enough; however, add offspring into the mix? Kids are a huge responsibility and I like being carefree and, ah, irresponsible. An unmarried friend from college in his 50’s…
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I hate beginning new relationships late in the year. I freeze activity from Thanksgiving through Valentine’s day in order to avoid awkward invites to family events and eat bad chocolate. This year I was moving across country, getting settled, and dealing with my mother’s death. It was a perfect time not to date. I kicked…
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I had date with another 61 year-old. No, not the sexter, but a new one. It made me realize that I just can’t pull off the older-guy thing. How do the mid-life crises guys date women half their age? What do they talk about? John was charming on the phone and eager to meet me…
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When Tina Fey got the head writer job at Saturday Night Live, I actually emailed a few friends with my excitement. Comedy is a male world. I was proud her writing was recognized and she broke through the sperm wall. Her career continues to evolve with 30 Rock, movies, and now her new book, Bossypants.…
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Misery loves
▶︎I know I’ve spent the past six years bemoaning the labor of dating in Los Angeles. I’ve felt like I’ve been one part relationship anthropologist, one part therapist, and an off-and-on investigative journalist. But I know my observations and experiences aren’t far-fetched because I run into men and women everywhere that have similar stories. I…
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I’ve revised the Kubler-Ross grief cycle to consider the emotional states of dating in Los Angeles. Shock stage – initial paralysis after a few bad first dates and remembering someone telling you you’d have to “import” your men if you lived in Los Angeles. Denial stage – continuing to date because you can’t believe it…
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Los Angeles is full of creative people, so it was only a matter of time before I’d have a date with a musician. Who knew it would be a doubleheader. I’ve dated musicians before, but they’ve had day jobs which puts them in the frustrated artist category. These guys were “real” musicians. Friday night was…
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A close girlfriend got out of a 2.5 year fakelationship and nearly immediately got back to the online dating business with some mildly successful results. I found her get-back-on-the-horse determination inspiring enough to return to the game also. My out-of-the-gate experience left a friend in New York saying, “can you move to San Francisco? Even…
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Dating is an exhausting exercise, but I support my friends as they venture out there. What is more tiring is when they have a bad experience and state, “I thought this kind of crap only happened to you, Marna.” Once again, I have to repeat IT’S BAD ALL OVER. Marci was approached online by a…
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I’m starting to become the conduit for bad date stories. I have enough of my own to go around, but it is disheartening to wonder if anyone in their 30s is successful in dating. April has been a parade of fools. My one girlfriend had to hit the eject button after her boyfriend stated he…
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Catch-22
▶︎How a year of dating in Los Angeles made me appreciate books and batteries My 2004 resolution challenge was dating bulimia – I would date as much as possible until I got sick. I feasted on the men of Los Angeles while Kathleen, a friend in New York, did the same. Our goal was to…