I thought I could last a while without getting another dog, but the older I get the more I know dogs are the best companions. And much more fun than dating.
When I was cruising Petfinder a little too frequently, I knew it was time. I wanted a senior dog, big was OK, but it was going to be non-shedding.
Roxy is a seven year-old, 65-pound “small” giant schnauzer. Her owner could no longer care for her and surrendered her to a schnauzer rescue. After a vet appointment, it’s confirmed she has hip dysplasia. I’m a veteran in that department, so I’m going to work with her on exercise and NSAIDs. Her only bad habits are tugging on clothes for attention, counter surfing and trash diving.
On average, there are about 15-18 available guys for me in Richmond on just about any dating site. My simple criteria is 47-57, within 25 miles, bachelor’s degree, and divorced with grown kids. Those numbers go up a little on Tinder primarily due to the truckers on I-95 and the pilots at the airport. So, when someone says “I’ve got a guy I think you should meet,” my general response is “ah, are you sure?”
My neighbors, Judy and David, met a guy at a dinner party and invited him over to the Union Market anniversary party. I didn’t end up making it to Union, but the guy did and they got to know him better.
“Marna, Everett was pretty cool, you really should of come,” they said.
“Wait a second. Did you say Everett? Was he a short, skinny, black guy with glasses? Probably told you a story about almost going to law school?”
“Yeah, why?” they asked.
“That’s my ex-husband’s best friend,” I explained.
Judy and David have lived in Richmond two years and do not quite understand the “smallness” of the city, especially when it comes to single men older than 50. David began texting Everett to confirm all this. Yes, he’s from Madison Heights. Yes, he knows Marna.
“God, I know I’ve been married for more than 20 years, but it is that bad out there, isn’t it?” Judy said.
You would think, at a certain age, men and women would figure out dating.
When Andy said he wanted to be exclusive, but his actions said otherwise, I didn’t hear from him and he never heard from me. Mutual ghosting. However, this is Richmond and the pool is small, so I figured he would circle back around.
He contacted me two months later through OKCupid inbox and asked if I’d like to go out. I told him I didn’t think, based on his actions, he was looking for a monogamous relationship which countered what he told me he wanted.
“I NEVER said I wanted to be exclusive,” he said.
“You did, actually, on Valentine’s Day. We had a pretty in-depth conversation about life and STDs. We don’t appear to want the same things now, so I wish you the best in your search,” I told him.
Was that the end of Andy? No. Another two month cycle elapsed and he contacted me with a new screen name.
“Hey, you want to hook up?” he asked.
While no means no, when are 50 year old men going to realize that if I wanted a hookup, it would be with a hot, buff 30-something with a cougar complex.
Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.
