Men behaving badly – the Los Angeles edition 0
You know, I’m so thankful that Al Gore invented the internet and that I have this blog to publicly air my successes and grievances. You know what else this blog has done for me? It’s put the fear of Goddess in every man that comes in contact with me.
What’s so different about a blog? It’s around for longer than a day. For instance, in high school, if a boy did something totally ridiculous, he was the laughing stock at lunch for, what, maybe a day or two and then it was forgotten. Stupidity has a little more permanence in the digital age.
I still remember my first date in California. It was August. We went bike riding and watched the sun set while drinking cheap Charles Shaw and eating cheese and crackers. As a newcomer, the date totally met my expectations of what a low-key, California date would be, until he whipped out his throbbing cock when he dropped me off at my apartment. I haven’t heard much from him since until he called the other day to make sure I was OK because I appeared to be angry in my EX Marks the Spot blog entry. “I’ve been keeping up with you through your blog. I hope you don’t mind.” The internet is a public space; read my blog. Just take care of that erection, will you? Men behaving badly. Down, boy, down.
A guy I went out with in December asked me, at the conclusion of our first date, “So, are you going to write about me in your blog?” He went back to the web site a few times to actually check. During our third date he asked if we were going to “get naked.” We didn’t and I haven’t heard much from him since. I wonder if he’s reading this now. More men behaving badly.
I realized the other day that I’ve been dating for 20 years. Twenty fucking years, but that’s really only three dog years. I have a treasure chest full of stories pre-internet. I have dated premature ejaculators, bi-polars, Type A’s, submissives, dominants, naughty/nice, thick/thin, hot/cold, and every personality type. I still don’t tire from dating because I have hope that, one day, these stories will end when I meet a guy that appreciates The Marn and can wait a few dates before he presents me with his special purpose.
A blog is no different than a water cooler or a telephone. Women talk. We always have, and we always will. Men are amazing creatures and they are worth writing about. Sometimes it seems we co-exist in tolerance. Don’t fault me if I see humor in it all.
Just wait until I show you mine.