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Driving home after Christmas on I-95 is no treat. It gets worse when you look at traffic maps and see red lines from south Jersey to northern Virginia. I was presented with a gift 30 miles from home after already being in the car eight hours. I felt that weird, oh-crap feeling and pulled off to…
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I can write good headlines. I can sell you shit you didn’t know you needed. I can write a lead that will get an editor to call. And I can write a cute note about your OKCupid profile that will make you click the reply button or swipe right. Greg was the first guy EVER…
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I’m an optimist, right? I have to be given I’ve been internet dating for 20 years. But if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Right? Ralph was a good match according to OKCupid. And he was my type of guy – cut to the chase and don’t waste time. We exchanged…
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I love trends, especially when they save me time and money. Since granny gray is in, it was time to have a chat with my hairdresser. I’ve been coloring my hair since I was a teenager. My first gray hair appeared before I was packed for college. I’ve been some shade of red ever since. At…
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Nothing makes me feel more alive than visiting New York. It also gives me an excuse to wear all my black t-shirts. After I arrived in Penn Station, I helped five people with directions. I told the last person I had not lived there since 2003. “Wow, you just really look like you know what…
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It takes years and years to master the art of trusting your instincts. You don’t take candy from strangers and you certainly don’t take drinks from guys that look like they can get bulk discounts on GHB. On Friday, I had a job interview that was scarier than a white windowless van with no license…
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When the Tinder app launched, I was living in Santa Barbara where the dating population was either college-age or retirement age. I didn’t see the point. Imagine my surprise when a girlfriend visiting from Florida admitted she met her long-term boyfriend there. “You have to get on it,” she said. I still subscribe to the…
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Brian found me online. You know I’ve all but given up, but when digital me reels in a live one, I still have to respond. After the usual rapid fire round of screening questions, we determined we were both looking for a relationship – nothing casual. We graduated to texting, then live phone on Monday…
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You know what the start to a perfect day is? Freshly ground coffee? Bacon frying? A blow job? Today, for me, it was a perfectly coiled crap in the toilet. You know, one of those “no way!!!!” works of art that you really feel will never be duplicated. Don’t worry, I didn’t take a picture. I did…
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The night before, Robert decided it would be cool if we just went to brunch for a date. A girl’s gotta eat, so 10 a.m. it was. I could finally check Millie’s brunch off my bucket list. I texted 15 minutes prior to let him know I was on my way, but walking. I got…