Dont Mince Words

I’ve had a few strangers who read my blog write to ask if I’ve had the date with TGG (that gym guy) because they wanted to read about the date results.  My response was, ‘Oh, I only blog bad dates.  Good guys don’t make for good nonfiction.”

I’m making an exception to the rule only because I have to tell you what I complete idiot I was on this lunch date.  I ordered a cobb salad which would probably be the menu selection of a bulimic.

“Oh, just so you know.  I’m not usually one of those girls that orders salads on dates.  I love meat, but I’ve been out of greens for two days in my apartment and I’m dying for a salad that isn’t made by me,” I explained.

Why did I say that?  TGG could take one look at me and know I love all food.  We have the same personal trainer, after all.  He was polite and laughed but his face said, “Who is this crazy bitch?”  Since he was from Texas, I thought I should disclose I was a meat eater.  Nothing is worse than having a good date in LA and realizing you are fraternizing with a vegetarian.

We ate and chatted for an hour and a half.  I had a good time and he really is a great guy.  This was probably one of my best of class first dates in LA.  Very engaging and polite and he didn’t do anything rude like whip out his throbbing cock to “show” me how much he liked me.

So how did we end it?  I, once again, put my foot in my mouth and said something completely stupid.

“Well, it was nice to finely meet you with clothes on,” I said, referring to our usual state of undress/sweat dress in the gym.

He chuckled while my why-did-I-say-that meter went off the scale.  He says he’ll call and we’ll get together again soon.

You think so?

If a man has an increased interest in his aesthetic sense, does that make him a metrosexual?  If he spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle, is he metrosexual?

Back in the old days, we called that gay.

I’m not sure where the term metrosexual came from, but I’m sure it was concepted in the halls of Procter & Gamble or some other consumer-focused conglomerate in order generate sales for hair mousse and nail buffers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for pampering.  I get pedicures.  I wash the gray out of my hair.  I get waxed.  These are my alternatives to heroin.  But what does a man need to feel and look better?  Usually a man only needs a blow job and a nose hair trimmer.

I realized today that Thomas Sullivan Magnum III was my first metrosexual crush.  He dressed well, trimmed his mustache, and was in touch with his feelings.  Why?  Because the Vietnam war gave him permission to have feelings.  But what was the other influencing factor?  Let’s not forget that ascot-wearing manservant, Higgins.  Higgins would probably be considered gay by today’s stereotypes.

It takes a gay man to keep a straight one put together.

I joked with a coworker recently that my personal tagline should be “Internet dating since 1996.” In addition, in the last five years, two of my jobs have been leads I found on the internet.

Not anymore.

The internet used to be a good place for jobs and dates. Now it has gone to the masses. This niche channel is no longer for tech saavy geeks. It’s gone ghetto, like Heineken. And I haven’t felt like drinking lately. But don’t worry, I’m not going to church to find a good man nor will I attend a golden handshakes meeting to get job leads.

This is just my personal observation. I’ll alter my plan accordingly and always remember when Joe Six-Pack and corporate America get their hands on something, it will eventually go to shit.

Drink up.