Dont Mince Words

Why is it when I tell people I can be shy, they grab their stomach and double over laughing? Honestly, it took all I could to approach the Barney’s Beanery guy, give him my card, and ask him to call.

The man called. We agreed to go back to the scene of the crime and meet for a beer. I got there early on purpose because, yes, I was nervous and wanted to get a head start on the beer. I realized it had been ages since I’d gone into a date with little-to-no information. At least with set-ups, or online dating, you have some background information to go on.

We met and everything was fine. He’s a writer and filmmaker, so we had no shortage of conversation. We traded bad date stories, bitched about aspects of LA, and shared a lot of laughs. It was an incredibly normal and fun night. Technically, the evening was unblogable because he didn’t do anything ridiculous like some of the colossal tools I’ve been out with. He even asked if he could create his own blog pseudonym. How’s that for creative collaboration?!

I’m on deck for a second date, but even if that never happens and this ended up being a one off, I now know that I can conquer my own shyness and meet men the old-fashioned way, in bars.

There are seven words that every writer hates hearing. “When are you going to be published?” My day job continues to get in the way of my professional development.

I received an email this weekend from a friend who periodically checks in. The last time I heard from him he was laughing and threatening to read my posts aloud in the city center of Rihyad to “liberate” women. “As usual, you are an incredible writer- you constantly have me rolling on the floor! Publish soon and let me know so I can PAY for the privilege of reading you!”

Three of my short stories were published in the WriteGirl anthology that is now available on Amazon, I think. My other piece that is part of an LA writers’ anthology is being shopped and if the houses kick it back, we’re going to self-publish. I’ve got tons of chick lit pitches floating around at the women’s mags as well as with the LAT and NYT. My big push is to get “Internet dating: A decade of bad coffee and backward screams” published. Yes, I actually have 10 years of Internet dating experience to talk about.

So, I’m getting published, slowly, but I’m not ready to quit my day job. But if you know of a handsome benefactor that would like to sponsor my unemployment while I pitch fulltime, let me know.

Where there is porn, there is profit. Except in my case. Today I received my last paycheck for my bi-weekly men’s column.

As a dot-com survivor, I knew it would happen. When I asked the editor/owner of the site what his revenue model was prior to signing my contract, he responded, “well, we just started trying….” Then the west coast side of my brain kicked in and said, “What do I care? Just f-in pay me.”

I suppose I’ll pedal my clips somewhere else. You know porn, you are pretty sure you know the story, but you’ll see or read it again just to make sure. I could also check in with Ron Jeremy to get tips on resurrecting my career.