Dont Mince Words

An old friend was in town with her 20 year-old daughter for the weekend. We were all over the place doing the usual touristy-type stuff. When they were getting ready to leave to go home, the daughter said, “Is every guy in LA gay?”

“Can you tell how hard it must be for me to date?” I replied.

She agreed it must suck. She figured it out in 55 hours. It took me months.

This is going to be my last unemployment summary because not much changes from week-to-week.  I meet unemployed friends for drinks, I make calls, I send resumes, and I have interviews.

One thing that was reinforced this week was how much interviews are like dates.  And selecting a job is like choosing a husband – you really don’t want a beater.

I had an interview with a Fortune 200 company.  I had heard mixed reviews through the years from friends and acquaintances who have worked there.  I accepted the interview out of curiosity.  I had no idea it would be a source of material.

I realized was the last interview of the day.  Not a good position to be in when you find out it was a sausage factory interview process.  All my interviewers were tired.  Two out of three had not seen my resume before I handed it to them.

The HR bitch set me up.

Interviewer #1 had been on staff for three weeks.  He was from a similar background and took the job because he wanted a more stable environment and was tired of ad agencies.  He warned me about long hours and a lack of process.  He was still trying to figure out what the job was.

Interviewer #2 had a year on the first guy.  He spoke of long hours and couldn’t really describe the job except that he needed a sales brochure developed.

Interviewer #3 was tired and frustrated because it appeared the HR bitch didn’t describe the position to any of the applicants.  She went on to tell me there would be long hours, there were opportunities for process improvement, and there have been two people in this position in the last year.  In addition, when I asked if if there was head count to bring a designer on staff, she said, “No, and it doesn’t matter.  The economy is so bad that these contractors are thankful to be here.”

It took me a few years of online dating to figure out some of the code in people’s ads.  Now I know when a decades-established company advertises for someone with a start-up background, that means the division is unorganized and probably in need of better operational management.  In addition, when interviewers really can’t sell you on the company or the position, it probably isn’t going to be a good long-term relationship.  I don’t really need that and a job with no career path.  That recipe will never provide me with success and results.

I sent the HR bitch a thank you email and continued my search.

I didn’t realize it, but apparently gay Target in West Hollywood can be a pickup joint. Instead of winking at me over the salad sneeze guard, he caught me in the facial care aisle while I was thinking about squeezing zits.

I’m not sure if it is stress or the desire to be a teenager again, but I’ve had a pimple breakout of colossal proportions. I went to Target today to buy some Oxy10 or to figure out what the kids are using now. There are so many solutions including three different versions of “just like Proactive.” While I was comparing and contrasting, there was a middle-aged guy eyeballing me and the Clean & Clear.

“Excuse me. Do you know which one of these are good?” he asked. Obviously, with my zits, I probably looked like an authority on benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid.

“You know, I’m sure they all have some form of alcohol in there, it just depends on what you want to accomplish. Normally, I don’t bother, I make my own astringent out of water and apple cider vinegar,” I admitted.

“Wow, cool, you are into homemade solutions. My name is Tom. What do you do for a living?” he asked in that very LA way.

“Marna. I got laid off in August, so technically I don’t do anything right now,” I said.

Get this. He fist bumped me and gave me a “right on.” He got laid off last month too.

Looks like bad skin might be a side effect of unemployment. I smiled and walked away to get my other items. At checkout, I decided to pickup some candy corn. That’s not bad for your skin, is it?