Dont Mince Words



The angry couponer 0

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Marna

I’m embarrassed to admit my first date of the year was in December, but after living in Santa Barbara it’s easy to give up on dating.  As a distraction from the fleas I was dealing with, I agreed to meet Mike for lunch.  When he suggested Ruby Tuesday’s, I knew I was going to get blog material.

Salad bar for two and good conversation, but he had an air of cockiness.  I wasn’t sure why, but I could feel it.  As the check came, he opened his wallet and pulled out a coupon and made the waitress re-total.  When she laid down the new portfolio, he opened and said “if we split it, you can give me $6.”  Yes, that is six dollars.

He walked me outside and hugged me.  I told him it was nice meeting and pivoted on my heels to get to my car and laugh.  Two days later, he was texting me trying to book a second date.  I should of been direct and said I wasn’t interested, but instead I just was honest in another way.  “I’m unpacking and buying furniture. I really want to get through this before I leave next weekend.”

Mike must be a man continuously on defense.  His response was not sympathetic or understanding.  “Ah, excuses.  OK.  I get it.  Typical Richmond girl. Par for the course. Ur a arrogant Richmond bitch like all the others.”

I’m excited.  I’ve been here a week and I’m already typical.  Who says things move slow in the south?

Driving Miss Dixie – Welcome to VA 0

Posted on December 12, 2013 by Marna

vasignThe welcome to Virginia sign was a relief after traversing Tennessee.  While Virginia may be open for business, I hope Virginia also has jobs and single, emotionally evolved men over the age of consent.

Dixie and I travelled 2900 miles and everyone was right – as long as she was with me, she was fine.  She looked forward to hotel rooms.  In fact, in our last one, we had to get two queens instead of a king and she ran in and jumped from one bed to another like a four-year old.  Most of the time her dinner was served in the back seat at a rest area.  She didn’t care.  The car was home base and it was on the move.

I’m thankful I had warm weather for our trip.  The same areas we passed through now have ice and snow.  It was a journey I’ll never forget.  I’d like to thank my friends for digitally cheering me on and others for calling to ensure I was safe.  We did fine and now I know – Dixie is a traveller and I was a long-haul trucker in a another life.  Would I do it again?  No, driving long distance through three time zones is not romantic.

dixieWCOnce I got to my friend’s house in Richmond, she told me her dog had fleas.  I figured that out about three hours after my arrival when Dixie was rubbing her muzzle on the bed.  That evening I couldn’t sleep because Dixie was groaning and shaking her bed with the scratching.  I could feel the critters on me and running in my hair.  The next day, bombing and dipping occurred but there were still die hards around.  By Monday I was at the vet and discovered Dixie is allergic to fleas and the vet stated that the house had a severe infestation that was probably present since the summer.  A professional extermination was necessary.  Between that and an un-housebroken Yorkie,  I went home, gave my roommate notice and moved out two days later.

After 17 loads of de-flea laundry, dry cleaning, pills, baths, and sprays, I am now home.  Dixie and I are pest-free and happy.  NOW I’m open for business.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 374 Posts, 131 Comments

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