She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

“Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”- Dan Quayle

Posted on May 09, 2005 by Marna

For many today is a day scarier that watching a son get circumcised. More perplexing than knowing your daughter does drugs and more horrific than wondering if you should do anything for your partner for Valentine’s Day.

Mother’s day incites fear in most. What do you get the woman who says she has everything? Or is she the woman you can never please? Perhaps your mother is perfect, but a sampling of my friends’ opinions is probably statistically significant enough to back up the following hypothesis:

We all hate mother’s day.

One friend called her sister to find out where her mom was and discovered she was out. “Oh, good. I’ll call now and leave a message. I won’t have to actually talk to her.”

Another friend stated, “why do I have to acknowledge a woman who continues to provide me regular intervals of grief… at my age.”

“My mom is OK. I just wish she’d get a boyfriend so she would leave me alone,” said another friend.

Another friend declared he could probably become a professional hostage negotiator after his interchanges with his mother.

Many years ago I went to my father holding some of my babysitting money and asked him what we should get mom for mother’s day. His response was classic.

“I don’t know. She’s not my mother.”

That was the beginning of my age of enlightenment. Mother’s day never got easier after that.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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