She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

You know they love you when…

Posted on March 20, 2007 by Marna

vas Indeferens

I’m neutral about the whole idea of spawning. I hate the fact my married-with friends live vicariously through me and start their sentences with, “I love my kids but…” I’ve seen friends and family age exponentially after creation of their nuclear family. I really like sex and love beer and those are two things I don’t see parents having a lot of. In addition, the thought of a kid hitting me up for keg money when I’m trying to retire scares the shit out of me. After all, that’s my hard-earned beer money.

We were on our third or fourth date when RC asked me about kids. I responded in a politically correct manner. “I suppose, with the right guy, I could have kids, but it’s also not my life’s goal to have them.” He smiled and responded with, “Well, if you want any, you better start dating someone else. I’ve got two and I’m done.”

I smiled with relief. But I smiled even harder when he said he’d get a vasectomy for me. You know they love you when they’ll let a sharp knife in the vicinity of their ball sack.

When asked if he liked kids, W.C. Fields responded, “I love children – medium rare.” I like mine every other weekend.

this won’t hurt

I was in a discussion recently with some of my fellow independent contactor friends. We all love working for ourselves, but the universal item that drives us to look for traditional, full-time permanent work is the cost of health care.

Last night I was explaining this dilemma to RC. I went from a decent $589/month policy to a crap $92/month just-in-case-I-get-the-cancer policy with a $4,000 deductible. I don’t get sick, but routine things like peeing in a cup and getting my boob squished are going to have to be reviewed against my monthly budget. Nobody should live in fear of getting ill.

His solution was simple. “I can add you as a domestic partner on my policy,” he said.

Some people marry for a green card and insurance. Some people cross the border for health care. You know they love you when they are willing to add you to their insurance and you don’t have to clean their house or blow them for the privilege.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

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