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Dont Mince Words

Drunk texts from last night

Posted on August 19, 2012 by Marna

I hate texting, but once in a while it’s fun to see a “conversation” unfold.  This is between me and AMFINS (a male friend I never screwed).  Two single adults, home on a Saturday night, drinking, watching TV, and texting.

AMFINS:  I’m drunk.  You aren’t.  Me awesome.

ME:  I’m catching up.

AMFINS:  Fucking drunk.  Meeeeee.

ME:  Bergins?

AMFINS:  I was there.  I had a beer crawl in downtown.  WOMANS you Woman Marna Drunk Me.

ME:  Don’t drive your Porsche.

AMFINS:  Woman.  I need hookers.  And beer.  And blow. And more hookers. And some potato salad.  And a fresca.

ME:  You are killing me.  LOL.

AMFINS:  I am watching Die Hard.  WOMAN.  Hookers for me now.

ME:  I’m watching White Collar, eating Starburst, drinking wine while Dixie licks her ass.


At this point, AMFINS calls me and lets me know the next time I’m in LA, we’re getting drunk.  This was his morning after exchange:


AMFINS:  I was very drunk last night.  Blasted actually.

ME:  It was fun. You must be an Olympic drinker because you didn’t slur at all.

AMFINS:  I’ve had practice.


And this is why I choose my friends wisely and I love the friends I have.


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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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