Dont Mince Words

I love going to the doctor. Last week it was the dentist. I like the small talk he makes while he scrapes and tells me what great teeth I have. Today it was the GYN.

The new patient forms are always a killer. I decided to give creative answers to see if they actually read.

Spouse’s name: Asshole.
Mother’s state of health: old and mean.
Have you ever had painful or unsatisfactory sex? You are kidding, right? There’s not enough room to describe all the bad sex I’ve had.

But the best question, and you know it’s coming, is when a new gyno looks you in the eye and asks “are you sexually active?” My standard response is always “not as much as I’d like to be.”

She laughed and then put her gloves on while she blew the cobwebs out.