Don't Mince Words


How does Hugh Hefner do it?

Posted on July 07, 2012 by Marna

I had date with another 61 year-old.  No, not the sexter, but a new one.  It made me realize that I just can’t pull off the older-guy thing.  How do the mid-life crises guys date women half their age?  What do they talk about?

John was charming on the phone and eager to meet me AFTER he did my astrological chart and determined we were a good match. I will admit, older men have mastered the art of conversation.  That’s their game.  If you overlook the orthotic shoes, age spots, and receding gums and focus on the conversation, it’s not so bad.  We met for happy hour and within one minute of meeting me, he wanted to hold my hand.  After doing the six-second size-up, all my hand wanted to hold was a beer.  When I did not immediately fall into his hands/arms, I was accused of being closed off.

Santa Barbara is like the Bermuda Triangle for men between the ages of 30 and 55.  They just don’t exist.  Or maybe they are here, but in some Area 51-type compound getting tested on so that the 60+ men can learn how to improve their game.  Whatever the case, geezers I quit you.

Put that in my chart.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

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