She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Waste not, want not

Posted on November 10, 2005 by Marna

More than four years ago, I planned a well-deserved vacation to Mexico with two girlfriends. We had all been working hard and were ready to play hard.

As part of our “fun” incentive package, I went to Target and got an economy box of condoms for us. Our goal was finish the box by the end of the week. I knew it was statistically improbable that each of us would have sex 2.7 times a day.

But a girl(s) can dream.

By day three, it was pretty apparent that we were not going to achieve our goal, so we started giving out the condoms as gag tips. I brought the rest home.

While I was packing for my recent vacation, I decided to pack a few condoms, just in case. My Mexican condoms were in the mix and had expired… in April. Four years later and I STILL couldn’t finish the box off.

But the condoms will not go to waste. I’m going to get some classy Cranes stationery and tape the expired Trojan inside with a note to Anne and Monica to remember to get laid more often.

I had a great vacation. The condoms I packed don’t expire until ’08. Hopefully I can meet that goal because you know an unused Trojan is a terrible thing to waste.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

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