She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Sloppy seconds

Posted on November 07, 2003 by Marna

I would personally like to thank Home Depot for bringing me good luck, temporarily.

On Monday I decided the job market did, indeed suck ass and I needed to get some form of a job to get by for a few more months while I waited for my networking to pan out. I waffled between waitressing and retail. My happy medium was Home Depot. I figured I would benefit from working in a retail environment littered with sober, home improvement men. My bonus structure would be dates.

There are lots of employment applications online now. Home Depot is no exception. I have to say their application reminded me how horrible retail work truly is. My favorite question was “How many times in the past year have you shoved a co-worker.” Hum. No physical shoves, but a lot of mental ones. Oh, and the evil eye. I can do the evil eye. But no shoves. I did work with a lot of middle-aged white guys at my last job that I wanted to bitch slap into kingdom come. I’ll leave the shoving for their wives.

So, where’s the luck you ask? Well, just when I think I’ve hit bottom, a glimmer of hope reminds me that I don’t need to wear an apron and a name tag.

Today I was called for a freelance writing job. Don’t get excited. It’s not with New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, or The LA Times. Nope, it is with an insurance company in Santa Monica. This is hot, steamy corporate writing in one of the most exciting and progressive industries. I interviewed for this same position three months ago. I was passed over. Imagine my delight when I saw the job posted again on Yesterday I sent an email to the woman I met three months ago and let her know I was available to help out on a freelance or full-time basis. They called today at 5 p.m.

I start tomorrow, for how long, I don’t know. I do know I don’t look good in orange aprons and, in this economy, I will take sloppy seconds on a job I should have been hired for in the first place.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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