She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Fishers of men (and women)

Posted on August 11, 2004 by Marna

My email inbox always has a smattering of penis improvement pills, low mortgage rate loans, Russian teen porn, and reduced priced software. Today I was presented with a new offer.

The promised land is in sight (or site as the web case may be). I can now meet “real” Christian singles. “If you are tired of online dating, let us show you the way,” the ad states. The link goes to

Don’t real Christians meet in church? Or are they lazy and just e-mail in their prayers and thanks? Does the Vatican have PayPal for offering? Can’t we do communion by WebCam? Oh, and what about real-time chat for confession? With the internet, I guess we don’t have to actually walk into a house of worship ever again.

I wonder what Jesus would think of the reach and frequency of religious spam. I can’t picture Jesus as a gorilla marketer, but I bet if he knew he could get followers by sitting at home in his underwear, he’d never walk the earth looking for believers again. If Jesus had online dating, he probably would pass Mary’s profile.

“Next. She seems too girl next door and looks like a breeder,” he might think.

After all, the son of God shouldn’t have to settle when there’s a database of real Christian women to choose from.

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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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