Dont Mince Words

My friends keep me in check.  They also tease me about some of my more memorable dating and relationship decisions.

A friend in New York recently called me laughing from a bar.  “Oh my God, Marna.  Magic Hat has a new hefeweizen out called “Circus Boy.”  What ever happened to that fucking tool?” he asked.

Pete remembers a six-month relationship I had because it was cluttered with mutual drama and ended with the guy leaving to join Ringling Brothers’ circus band.  He was nicknamed “Circus Boy” by my friends and inducted into Marna’s Hall of Fame.  Circus Boy taught me to never date career musicians, especially when they say, “but music is my mistress.”

I was once at a Dr. Pat Allen relationship seminar (Mars/Venus type stuff) where she truly explained M/F dynamics in relationships.  When she had Q&A, I asked her what she thought of left-handed musicians.  I’ll never forget her response, “If you want a thinking and rational man and you are in the feminine role, don’t date a left-handed musician.”  As a result of that advice, career musicians are on my banned dating list.

So, to answer Pete’s question, I don’t know what happened to Circus Boy.  Last I heard, he was quitting the circus, getting married, and settling in Las Vegas.  Eight years later, I can safely say I’d rather have a six-pack of Circus Boy than see Circus Boy, but my friends and I thank him for the memories.

Today I had two what-the-fuck moments within a two-hour period. Of course, ex’s were involved.

I woke up to an email announcing that one of them was going to be in LA in November and he’d like to extend his visit to see me. While 9/11 sped up our inevitable breakup, what is more interesting about this guy is he married the girl right after me. I can’t tell you HOW many times in my life this has happened. His visit will be interesting. I imagine he’ll have fewer hairs and I’ll have fewer pounds.

When I got to work, I received a call from Circus Boy. His calls are random and infrequent and rarely annoying because how can you hate an ex- that left you to join the circus? I’ll milk that story until the day I die. Anyway, he called to talk about the iPhone and then said, “my girlfriend read your blog and told me you sold your TV. Is that the big one you had in New York?”

How interesting can my life be to a girlfriend? Doesn’t it seem like a truly dysfunctional activity to read the blog of your boyfriend’s ex? I don’t get it. My life certainly isn’t that interesting. OK, maybe it is a tad more exciting than most married people’s lives. But god, you are in the CIRCUS and you get to see elephants crap and you catch the clowns ordering gay porn on the internet. That’s a rewarding day.

Driving home I figured it all out…. It’s a full moon. The strangeness in my life will never be eclipsed as long as I have ex’s around.