She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

Neptune, God of the sea or dirt? Comments Off on Neptune, God of the sea or dirt?

Posted on August 31, 2005 by Marna

In my mailbox between the Bed, Bath & Beyond 20 percent off coupons, I sometimes get a great direct mail piece. I rarely open them up unless there’s a cleaver design I could copy for a future campaign at the office.

When I received classy invitation-stock from The Neptune Society, I felt compelled to see what was inside. Would I be saving dolphins? Is there a hospice for submariners opening up in my neighborhood?

I like the sea. How can I support it?

The Society believes it’s time for me to plan cremation in my final wishes. How the hell did they find out that I’ve had a yeast infection, gallstones, and a skin cancer freckle this year. Did someone alert them I’m turning 40 soon? Yeah, I guess they are right, it’s time for me to lock in at today’s prices. Tomorrow I may get a hang nail that kills me.

They say “cremation just makes sense” and they are right. That’s why I completed the business reply mail card with my brother’s information. He was a submariner for the Navy and has been more than six feet under. Time for an early birthday practical joke.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

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