Don't Mince Words


Tick tock, hurry up and drink

Posted on August 21, 2011 by Marna

Tonight I had a date with a PhD-holding Angeleno who was in town for interivews.  It was an exciting time because I haven’t had a date with a smart person my age in a very, very long time.  As expected, the conversation flowed.  The beer didn’t.

He requested that we meet at a pub, so I recommended a local microbrewery near his hotel.  Imagine my horror when I walked up and he was drinking Budweiser.  WTF.  You are smart.  Surely you can pick a fine local draft with better flavor.  We continued to chatter and when he finished his first, the waitress asked if he’d like another.  “No, I have to leave at 5,” he replied.  Of course, I ordered a second brown ale and calimari because I’m a whore for draft beer and good bar food.  And I thought, you know, this was a date.

At 4:55 p.m., he tossed a 20 dollar bill on the table and got up, hugged me, and said he had to get going to prep for his interviews.  I thanked him and told him I was going to stay to finish my beer.  I did that, checked my email, checked-in to Foursquare, and made sure the waitress was tipped.  I then walked home in the other direction so I could walk by a few shops on State Street before closing.

Imagine my surprise when Mr. Interview Prep walked up behind me and passed me.  No hi, no nothing.  He had a fast stride and was walking like he was late.  I followed him until he turned in to another bar.  I’m all about maximizing time and speed dating, but if it had been me, I would of scheduled the dates farther apart and certainly found bars closer together.

Not so smart after all. But the Bud was the giveaway.

 

2 to “Tick tock, hurry up and drink”

  1. Lisa V says:

    What the hell? Was he interviewing for a date? If so, I guess he didn’t get the position with you… missionary or otherwise. What a jerk.

  2. I’m writing to express my gratitude. As an anthropologist, your blog has provided me with eight years of solid empirical evidence on the state of heterosexual relationships in America. As I will show in my upcoming paper, “Theoretical Underpinnings of the Mating Rituals and Sexual Behaviors of Urban American Unmarried Middle-Aged Women,” this data was instrumental in confirming my hypothesis: it’s better to be a lesbian. Thank you!



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  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

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