She minces no words.

Dont Mince Words

My chi is horny

Posted on February 17, 2004 by Marna

It was a day of firsts for me. It started with a shot of wheat grass juice. It smelled like grass and tasted like freshly mowed greens should – good for you gross. I went hard core and passed on the orange slice chaser. That had to be for pussies. I survived just like I did when mom made me eat liver. Now I’m getting my vitamins a new way. After work, I attended my first yoga class in California. I quickly came to the conclusion that I wasn’t in Brooklyn anymore.

There were men in my yoga class and I think most of them were straight. Real men didn’t go to the yoga studio in my old Windsor Terrace neighborhood. They went to Farrell’s around the corner which was a bar that boasted the freshest Budweiser in the city. This 5:30 p.m. class was about 50 percent men. I was dying. I laid my mat down in the back of the room. Nobody was going to see my fat wide ass. I was going to do the viewing in this class.

I started peeking during downward dog. Wow, nice thighs. I see biceps and a let’s-cast-that-in-marble perfect ass. I had to refocus my breathing. A half-hour later, I did my endurance viewing. Who was going for water and towels? Who was cocky and showing off?

When we got to the floor stretches and final breathing exercises, I returned to center – myself. Then I became very aware of my surroundings. I heard planes flying overhead. I heard buses going by. These were the sounds of my Windsor Terrace yoga studio. My breathing transported me back to Brooklyn.

A few OMMMMMHS later I rolled up and grabbed my mat. I was craving a New York slice and a Brooklyn Lager pint.

I wonder what the guys do after class. Probably wheat grass.

Comments are closed.

  • About Marna

    Marna’s writing career started as a Pentagon intern. Early exposure to $500 toilet seat press releases made her appreciate creative nonfiction. Now she has more than 25 years of senior-level marketing and communications success working with Fortune 100 companies, government, nonprofits, small businesses, startups, and agencies.

    Stats: 377 Posts, 132 Comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Tag cloud

  • Old Posts

↑ Top